Planting Seeds and Mid Life Crisis Fun

“You wouldn't plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it has grown. So why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work and your decisions? Have patience, stop overthinking and keep watering your seeds.” — Steven Bartlett

My teacher used to tell us something similar to this quote in regards to the transformation happening in our yoga practice. I found the visual of digging up the seed so helpful in demonstrating the futility and harmful effects of impatience on growth.

Last month I hosted a new moon yoga event in my backyard (which sold out btw!). We used the potent inward energy of the moon and our yin practice to plant the seeds of intention for what we want to nurture and create in our own lives. As a parting gift, I offered the seeds of an array of edible flowers. Each person was invited to plant the seeds or scatter them in nature as a symbolic offering to our intentions. I was pleasantly surprised to receive progress photos from several people of these little delicate green shoots coming out of the soil. The combination of intention, action, and the magic of creation/life all work in concert together. In order to take our dreams into reality we must know what we want, take action, nurture our choices, and be patient with nature as she does her sorcery.  

It turns out however, that the very first step of just knowing clearly what we want can be extremely challenging. Distractions, cultural conditioning, other peoples projections, obstacles, and the pull of remaining comfortable can easily throw us off course and confuse us. There is a law in perception that whatever we place our attention on grows. If we think only of defeat; we get defeat. If we suffer from indecision; we will get confused results. If we focus on something specific; that specific thing will grow and flourish.

I’ve spent the last two years dipping my toes in and out of the tepid waters of a mid-life crisis. Ok, fine, if I’m being honest I have been bathing in them. My crisis centered around the question “What am I supposed to do?”. For reasons beyond my understanding, this question also held the existential weight of the purpose and meaning of my life. I had subconsciously internalized the dreaded and way to common question “What do you do for a living?” in our society (what we are really asking is how do you make money?). As if the answer somehow defines a person and their worth. The mid-life element of my crisis had me question everything I had done up until this point and wondering if I should toss it all out the window. I found myself living in this nebulous state of  constant indecision. It took me until literally now, to realize what I am supposed to do. Ultimately, what I’m trying to say is; Deducing what we truly want can be a process.

When you look at a seed in your palm it looks so unassuming. It could easily blend in as a spec of mud from your shoes. Yet within this little pod is the potential for a magnificent spark of life. Our goals and dreams are the very same. Within each of us is an infinite potential for creativity and life to express itself. Once we know what we want, we take action and plant the seed. Naturally the seed then requires our attention and our daily practice is to supply water and sunlight. 

A Chinese bamboo tree takes 5 years to grow. It has to be watered and fertilized in the ground where it has been planted every day. After 5 years it will break through the ground and grow 90 feet tall in five weeks. This tree teaches us that even when it appears that nothing is happening, below the surface a dynamic root system is being built. This is natures sorcery at work, and we must trust her pace.

My two year purgatory in the watery depths of a mid life crisis helped me gain the clarity I so desperately desired. I wanted to know what I was supposed to do. The answer was with me every day in my practice in the still, early morning hours. Thoughts, the whir of ceiling fans or the heater kicking on, the songs of crickets, and birds, and the distant freeway roar, wove into the mantra being repeated at its own rhythm in my mind. Infinitesimal glimpses into the depths of nature herself peeked through in moments of complete silence. In these brief spaces, the veil dropped and my chest answered with a steady and deep calm.

There is no substitute for the felt experience of the journey in.  My deepest desire is to share the mind blowing and heart opening gifts of Yoga with my you, my fellow journeyers.

May whatever you are nurturing and creating in your lives come true.

You are Nature,

Love, Nicole

P.S. Stay tuned for the unveiling of my newest offering coming in November 2022!!!!!!